It happened again last night. A full fledged epidemic of TBS - Teflon Brain Syndrome. It seems to affect the middle aged actor mostly. It may affect other age groups but no one can remember.
Words! They were there just a couple of days ago. I swear. Last night, not so much. The only saving grace is that we all experienced it at the same time. Maybe it was a phase of the moon or we passed through a rogue ion shower. Come to think of it, this never happened before the invention of the cell phone. At any rate, while it is frustrating to NOT know your lines it is ten times more frustrating to know you know them and they choose to hide in unspoken obscurity.
We all have our different ways of expressing our bout of TBS in rehearsal. Lavin (Abe) looks forward and declares “I know these” as he’s asking “line”. Nancy (JArc) struggles to pull key words from the unforgiving and ever shifting teflon, looks skyward and at times displays facial features I’ve only seen in women in the midst of childbirth. I (Cohn) prefer the self abusive, inanimate object hitting technique. Chris (Wisemen) takes the high road and works through it with dignity. We all hate him for that. All techniques are uniquely viable but ultimately ineffective.
We must fight for the cure for Teflon Brain Syndrome, Ladies and Gentlemen! The future of our art depends on it! We can begin a foundation, sponsor a telethon and we can even get what’s-his-name to host it! Shit, what is his name...
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