Knock Knock - The Red Shirt Incident

As I may have mentioned before Lavin who plays Abe and I are neighbors.  Literally, next door neighbors.   Yesterday afternoon, as it happened, we had both mounted our respective lawn tractors - one green, one red - for another of our unrelenting battles with acres of grass.  As we neared each other at the border of our properties, we realized that both of us were mowing our lawns with script in hand. A perfect Kodak moment lost perhaps.  We may have to stage it but it won’t be the same.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is dedication to our craft!  But the lawn looks like crap.

At this point I am going to blame everything on a red shirt.  I have a red shirt.  I don’t know why I have a red shirt.  I don’t particularly like red but somehow over the course of time I have acquired a red shirt.  Bad things seem to happen when I wear the red shirt.  It is evil and will be dealt with as such.

I say it is evil because I was wearing the red shirt last night for the first time in many months, as it is a summery red shirt.  As we were rehearsing I made a common little move and my back (for want of a more medical term) tweaked.   Tweaked.  An innocuous word usually meaning to adjust, preferably for the better.  Not in this case however.

I have had worse tweaks.  I am still moving around albeit with the posture of someone 112 years old but moving, functioning, consuming and passing necessary fluids.  My best friend now is a bag of frozen peas of which I now have intimately knowledge.

But the point is that this would not have happened had I not been wearing the accursed red shirt!  We were in Italy last year and I was wearing that shirt.  We decided to take the Metro to the Roman Colosseum.  Somewhere in this trip some light fingered Luigi managed to lift with my wallet.  From now until probably the end of time I cannot see a picture of the Colosseum without linking the red shirt and the missing wallet.  Evil red shirt.

I hereby apologize to the theater gods for bringing the insult of the red shirt into your hallowed hall.  I have been punished and I acknowledge my guilt.  Mia culpa.

And Lavin, sorry about the yellow jackets.  Hope you get your lawn finished soon.